"It's gonna get better when you go, it's gonna get better on my own."

Love- a feeling of warm personal attatchment or deep affection, as for a parent, child or friend.

Love is such a sketchy topic. I feel as if it doesn't have a true definiton, but everyone constantly tries to give it one. It's impossible to judge one's love for another, because it's all based on truth to oneself and feelings.

I love in three ways. Family, friends, people.

With my family, I love unconditionally. I love them through everything, but also get much more angry/upset with them, than with anyone else I love. My family can cause more dissapointment and more excitement than any other group. To be a failure to my family, is to cease to exsist. They have followed me through life and will be the only people I can count on whole-heartedly. I think this is why all emotions with them can become so extreme. My trust is very hard to come by, but my family has it. And that makes me scared and vulnerable. But, happy to know that there is a group of people that can be everything I need.

It's not hard to become my friend. I like friends, I like people. It's a passion of mine. Talk to me, hang out with me. I consider you my friend. I expect very little of my friends. I love them with a love that is so unique. I will do whatever it takes to make a friend happy or at ease, even when hurt is all I get in return. I give out chances like they're candy and I don't know of one single person I have ever given up on. I often find this to be a weakness, but it's who I am and it's my love.

People. It's often hard to love people. People can dissapoint and upset, but everyone needs to know that someone cares and loves them. This love is a more detached love, but I consider it love all the same. I always look for the good and never the bad. When I find the bad, I try to find a reason for the bad. An explanation. A story. This love is the least hurtful, because I have no real connection to these people, but it can still hurt all the same.

There is a fourth love, that I failed to mention. I haven't found this love yet and I'm not really looking. It's the love of another human being that is beyond that of family, friends and people. I believe that if there is a significant other out there for me, he will be found, not through searching, but through being. I will learn, love and grow and possibly one day my life will cross the path of another and our story will begin. If this blog is still around when it happens, then I will be glad to share with you how I handle that love. :)



Love someone today.

"What better way to spend the night, then wasting it with you."

Jealous: feeling resentment against someone because of that person's rivalry, success or advantages.

I can get jealous pretty quickly. Not the crazy, lose your mind, stupid actions jealousy. My jealousy is always silent and never heard. My jealousy rarely involves material things. It's often dealing with people and relationships.

Friends- I get jealous when certain friends spend one-on-one time with others and not with me. Or if others get invited to things and I don't. In one particular case, I get jealous that a certain friend has replaced me in the lives of some people pretty important to me. I also get jealous that other people get treated a little better in friendships than sometimes I do, but that's my own fault. I can be a bit of a pushover. I want everyone else happy first.

Boys- I do not enjoy when jealousy appears in any relation to boys. I feel as if I become stupid and weak, if I allow myself to feel this emotion in regards to a situation with a boy. I'm a sucker for sweet talkers and doers. Which is pretty terrible. I can fall easily for a boy who seems to care, pay attention and knows how to use his words. When these boys get me hooked, I'm hooked. Which is dumb. Because I'm most often just another girl on the list of people to talk to for the day. But, I fall for it. And then when I see/hear them spending time with another girl, or talking it up with them.. my knees hit the ground. I get jealous and sad that that girl gets the oppurtunity to spend time with that boy or I get jealous that I'm not the only one.

Like I said, no one ever knows when/if I'm jealous. I like to keep it that way. I find jealousy weakening and unattractive to others. I hide it. And try to ignore it. It's dumb, but it's me.


That has been on my mind lately. So I thought I would share because I haven't updated in awhile. I did get my shoes and stereo in the mail. I was excited about that. As of right now, I'm very happy with my life. My days are filled with happiness and friends and I'm enjoying everything. Hopefully, this is the case for you all. Good day.

"I like boys with strong convictions and convicts with good diction."

Last night, we had a family night. It was so much fun. I absolutely forgot how much I love my family, even my brother. Haha. He is crazy and hilarious and my parents are just fun. The mother, brother and I went and did a little shopping, chased a fire, rented some movies and grabbed a pizza. Mi padre then arrived home from doing some yardwork and we all ate, watched and laughed. It was good stuff. I'm going to miss them.


I ordered a new car stereo the other day! Yay. Wesley(my car) will now have an actual functioning stereo. I picked it out and ordered it all by myself. It made me feel like an adult :)
This is what I got:





Also, I ordered a new pair of TOMS! Even bigger yay! I wanted this pair SO badly when they came out, but I didn't have the money. When I did get the money, they were sold out :( I was so upset, and couldn't find a pair ANYWHERE on the internet. Then thanks to Twitter, I got a little insider info that they were restocking just a few pair. & I was able to get them! Whooooo. If you don't know about TOMS you should check out their website. http://www.tomsshoes.com/
They have a ONE-for-ONE mission. For every pair of shoes you buy, they give a pair to a kid in need. It's awesome. I want to work with them one day!
This is the pair I got:





So, for my blogging friends out there, this is a little update on what's happening in my life! :)

I think in lyrics.

"In your darkest hours, will I love you still. I have and I always will."

"The city settles down, I watch you as you sleep. There's a silent celebration for every breath you breathe."

"I don't know the perfect conversation, I don't know how to turn a head. I don't know the perfect way to prove my love, but I'll love you till I'm dead."

"I will never be a stranger, I will never be alone. Cause wherever you are is home."

"What I say outloud is only half of what's in my head."

"It's a good world, gone real bad and only love can bring it back."


As I said in the previous post, Dave Barnes is on my mind.
Each of the lyrics posted here were written by the musical genius himself.

"Where love is, fear won't tread."

I have always enjoyed Dave Barnes, but I'm currently a little obsessive. I absolutely cannot get enough of his music. I have put his albums on repeat for the past two days & have been content. His lyrics are beautiful and everything I want to hear. I have to marry a musician.

I feel like I should update this thing more than once a blue moon, but I just really have nothing to say. Nothing of interest, nothing of merit..nothing.

My life is pretty boring right now. I don't do a whole lot and what I do is just blah. I'm sort of in a rollercoaster right now. One day, I'm doing really good and super happy with everything. The next, I'm sliding down a hill into a blah place. Sometimes I feel as if I'm in the wrong place, doing the wrong thing. I think I'm suppose to be somewhere else. Somewhere more exciting and challenging. But, I guess everyone feels this way at some point. Now, I'm rambling. And I'm stopping.


The sun has finally begun to shine, which is fun. It's kind of a huge part of summer.

"We are fighting this war, with both of us losing."

I am sometimes in the mood to blog with nothing interesting to say. Or I contain a wealth of things to say, but lack the motivation to blog. Today is the first kind of day. Therfor, I will share some information about myself. Because I can.


My name is Nicole.

I'm seventeen years young.

I will officially be a college freshman in the fall. Yay.
I'm going to be majoring in Biology.

I listen to music constantly. My iPod is pretty much attached to my side and I usually don't care what's playing, as long as something is coming out of the speakers. I also know a lot of lyrics. And have begun to think in lyrics. I'm so glad someone else is wittier than me and created them.

I am a generally happy person and tend to think of life as "half-full." Athough, I do have my rocky moments and they tend to knock me to my knees.

I believe in a thing called love languages, the way you show your love and the way you feel loved. There are five specific ones. Google them sometime. The way I show my love is absolutely "Acts of Service." I love doing things for others and putting others first. It's extraordinary. The way I can be shown love is through "Quality Time." It's who I am. Spending time with me is the biggest way to show you care, and when you don't want to spend time with me, I feel something is wrong.

I don't like to go shopping. Unless I'm just really in the mood. And I prefer to wear shorts and t-shirts. Always. With an occasional mood to dress-up.

As previously stated in another post, I don't deal with feelings well. So I run. A lot. I love it. And I have successfully completed two 5ks, with the hopes of more. Also, I blog. I love blogging and don't care if it gets read. I just really enjoy doing it.

I don't trust well. I build up walls and rarely take them down. It's just easier that way. Maybe one day I will learn differently.

I smile. Almost too much. But it feels good.


I think that's all for now. Maybe I will have another "get to know me" post, soon.